


Yang Xiao Long vs The World

by MachineQueen



Category: RWBY
Genre: Bumblebee - Freeform, Bumbleby - Freeform, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-06 03:04:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13402089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MachineQueen/pseuds/MachineQueen
Summary: In order to date Blake in peace, Yang must first defeat her league of evil exes in battle.Fluff and comedy.Premise stolen from Scott Pilgrim vs The World. AU in which Volume 3 didn’t happen. Very RWBY Chibi in tone.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed Blake had by far the most love interests in RWBY and so this fic was born.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: This fic is complete crack written solely for comedic/entertainment purposes and I have no intention of bashing any particular ship. All Blake ships are beautiful. Just think of this as an extended RWBY Chibi sketch. 
> 
> So as not to waste anyone's time, this fic is Blake/Yang all the way through, even if other Blake ships are discussed.

Yang never usually felt nervous but tonight was different. Yang was tired of keeping her feelings hidden - and she was finally going to see if there was a chance of them being returned. Yang exhaled and tried to let the serene atmosphere of the environment lull her into a sense of calm. All the same, she couldn’t dissipate the tension that stiffened her posture. 

“How did you find this place?” asked Blake, the source of Yang’s unease.

The faunus was dressed as she always was outside of classes, in black and white. Even though Yang was lucky enough to see Blake every day, sometimes she was still taken aback by her beauty. The feeling manifested itself as a longing ache in Yang’s heart - something she found she could no longer ignore.

The two of them were deep in the grounds of Beacon Academy. It felt as though there was no one else for miles around, even though the main campus could be glimpsed through the treeline. Somewhere close by, the river was trickling. Even though they were out in the open, the place still gave them privacy away from the eyes and ears of their classmates. That was one of the reasons Yang had chosen it. 

The other was because of the abundance of violets and honeysuckle. The plants seemed unaffected by the fall season and created a vivid splash of colour among the pale orange leaves of the trees. To Yang’s delight, Blake was gently stroking the leaves of a honeysuckle plant, an unusually relaxed smile on her face. Yang mentally saved the memory. She wished she could take a picture but she knew Blake would clam up immediately if she got her scroll out. 

“I was sparring with Ruby way over that way,” said Yang, gesturing vaguely to somewhere behind her. “Got tossed up in the air, noticed the colours and thought I’d come check it out.”

“It’s gorgeous,” said Blake. 

“Let’s climb up here,” said Yang, seizing the branch of the nearest tree, “You can see it better.”

Yang left a trail of snapping branches and scattering leaves in her wake but when Blake followed, she moved silently, avoiding any debris that was flung her way. As climbs went, it was fairly easy. Yang settled herself on a sturdy branch, making sure there was room for Blake to sit beside her. She took a moment to catch her breath and let Blake find a comfortable position.

From the treetops they could see the way the flowers painted the woodland in bands of pink and purple. In the distance was the reassuringly solid form of Beacon Academy. Yang studied Blake’s expression. It was hard to read what she was thinking as she looked at the dark silhouette of Beacon Tower.

“It’s a good place for a picnic, don’t you think?” said Yang. She produced two flasks from the satchel she was carrying and then two cupcakes, still in their plastic box. Blake accepted the flask. Yang had taken care to fill it with her favourite brew of tea. She’d become well accustomed to making the drink exactly how Blake liked it. Blake picked up the proffered cake delicately, taking care not to scatter too many crumbs. 

“What’s the occasion?” asked Blake. 

Yang’s cupcake was gone in three bites but Blake ate more slowly, savouring it. The sight of her daintily licking up the honey filling was mightily distracting and Yang had to try hard to refocus her mind on the question at hand.

“There’s something I need to talk to you about,” said Yang. This was it. Now or never. 

“Is something wrong?”

“Me and you: we make a good team. Right? And we’re good friends. Right?”

Blake nodded but didn’t offer anything further. Did she already know what was coming next? Yang tried to choose her words carefully. This was the first time she’d been the one confessing to having romantic feelings. It was far more difficult than she’d first thought and she began to feel a grudging respect for the boys she’d turned down in the past. Yang was no coward but she was only just realising how much courage she needed to get through this conversation.

“The truth is I’d like to be more than just your friend. And I don’t mean your  _ best  _ friend.”

“Oh,” said Blake in a very small voice. She looked down at the flask she was holding, the very picture of dejection. Yang’s heart sank but she pressed on. There was no turning back now.

“I think I could make you happy.”

“Yang, you already do,” said Blake. She was speaking very gently but her face still looked sad. 

“Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming my way?” asked Yang.

“ _ But _ dating me isn’t going to be easy,” said Blake.

“If I like you and you like me, then why does it need to be hard?” 

“Well...because...if you want to date me, first you’ll have to fight my league of evil exes.”

Blake tipped out the crumbs from her cupcake wrapper and then crumpled it in one fluid motion. Yang blinked. Did Blake just say...league of...evil exes?

Yang threw back her head and laughed. Blake rolled her eyes as if she had been expecting this reaction all along.

“It’s not funny. Wherever I go and whomever I date...the evil exes catch up with them eventually. I don’t want anything to happen to you, Yang!”

“I can’t believe you were worried about something like that! I don’t care if I have to fight all the Grimm in Vale. I still want to be with you. Besides, I think you should be more worried about the exes. You’ve seen me fight. You know how strong I am.”

“That’s true,” said Blake. “If anyone can beat them...maybe you can. I’m so sorry about this.”

Yang slammed her fists together. “If any of your exes show up, I’ll knock them into next week. I have no problem fighting for you.”

“Really?”

Blake smiled again and took Yang’s hand in hers. Her fingers were warm and their hands fit perfectly. She ducked her head, suddenly surprisingly shy. 

In the crisp autumn air, Yang leaned in and claimed her first of many kisses from Blake. 


	2. The First Ex

_ Meet me @ 7:30pm in Beacon Courtyard for an asskicking.  _

Yang’s eye twitched. The message sent to her scroll was from an unknown number and had arrived during combat class. Someone was threatening her! Following her conversation with Blake, she supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. Blake had told her to expect her first challenge soon after the Beacon gossip mill got hold of the fact they were dating. Weiss and Ruby had sussed it out pretty quickly and one of them - the identity of the culprit was still being disputed - had let it slip to team JNPR who had then spread it around the rest of the school.

Pfft. Whoever the first ex was had some nerve to think that they could scare Yang like that. She was one of the strongest students in her classes and usually wiped the floor with anyone who dared challenge her in combat training. And this whole league of exes thing was stupid anyway. Blake was a free woman and entitled to see whoever she wanted. Yang fully intended on telling her challenger exactly that, with some choice expletives thrown in for good measure. It was usually beneath Yang to swear but thanks to Uncle Qrow she had a whole arsenal of curses to choose from. This seemed like a good time to use some of them. 

“Is this exes thing because you’re a faunus?” asked Yang. “They do realise slavery was abolished a while ago, right?”

“It’s not like  _ every _ faunus has a bunch of crazy exes stalking them. Guess I’m just one of the lucky ones,” said Blake. 

XxX

Yang had been waiting in Beacon’s courtyard for about half an hour but there was no sign of anyone. She was now mentally adding a tirade about being punctual with threats to her growing rant about the situation at hand. Her gauntlets were primed and ready but it seemed that perhaps her opponent had chickened out. Blake sat tensely at her feet, peering out into the night.

Finally a figure stepped into the courtyard. Yang frowned. A petite girl holding a huge...hammer? But then that meant...

“It is I! Nora Valkyrie! Blake’s first evil ex!”

_ Nora _ finally came out from the evening shadows, a wide and devious grin on her face. She was clearly savouring her moment and gave an exaggerated bow. Yang stepped forward from where she’d been leaning against one of the pillars and blinked to check her eyes were working properly. She was having a hard time wrapping her head around what was happening. Nora? Nora and  _ Blake _ ? 

“You and Blake  _ dated _ ?”

“No, we didn’t,” said Blake, annoyed enough that Yang could see her bow twitching. “Nora, what are you doing?”

Nora put her hammer over one shoulder and looked a bit sheepish.

“Well OK, we didn’t date. But we  _ did _ hold hands that one time.”

“Oh,” said Blake, understanding dawning on her face. “You mean when we had that power cut and I found you stumbling around in the dark.”

“Exactly! And weird bull man said that made me eligible to join the Blake’s evil ex club!”

“Weird bull man…” Blake’s voice took on a more fearful tone. “Nora, where did you see him? And when? That man is extremely dangerous, you don’t want to get mixed up with him…”

But Nora either didn’t want to explain or didn’t think she needed to. Yang knew from experience that Nora was not easily dissuaded from anything, whether it was stealing pancakes or beating a Grimm senseless. 

“I didn’t come to talk! I came to fight!”

Nora grinned and took on a fighting stance, hammer at the ready.

“I’m not fighting an evil ex who’s not even a proper ex!” protested Yang. 

But Nora was already moving into her first attack, charging forward with her trusty hammer at the ready. Yang rolled away from the strike, landing lightly on the balls of her feet. Behind her, Blake readied her weapon. Yang could hear its distinctive  _ ka-chuk _ as she unsheathed it but Nora held her hand up.

“Nuh-uh Blake! You know the rules! No interfering!” 

“Nora!” Blake growled low in her throat. 

“Blake, I’ve got this,” said Yang. 

Blake scowled but stepped back. Yang and Nora faced each other for a long moment before Yang decided she’d had enough of standing around. Nora wouldn’t be reasoned with - fine. Either way, Yang was sure the fight would be an easy win for her. Nora might move quickly but having to swing the hammer made her attacks slow and easy to dodge. 

“Yah!” Yang charged in for her first punch. Nora leapt past it, neatly evading her fists and swinging round from behind, hammer raised high. Yang twisted, fired her gauntlets for speed and went for a right hook into Nora’s gut. The hope was to make her drop the hammer. No luck there - Nora’s grip was like iron. Yang’s momentum did at least send Nora skidding backwards, though she didn’t topple. 

Nora dropped her stance lower to try and keep her balance and stop Yang from pummelling her. Yang managed to get a flurry of hits in before she was kicked away but Nora showed no sign of tiring. Her aura was still strong enough to withstand the force of Yang’s punches. Nora gave her a wide grin of triumph. 

Incensed, Yang fired a couple of shots from her gauntlets -blam, blam - but only succeeded in hitting one of the courtyard’s pillars and sending a deep crack up the length of it. She winced, imagining the fury of Professor Goodwitch when she saw the damage. 

“Yang!” Blake cried out.

Her attention had lapsed for only a moment but it had been long enough for Nora to charge up her hammer for an electrical attack. Yang pivoted around only to be met with another devilish Nora grin. The next thing she knew, the hammer had hit her with its full force and she was flying. Thinking fast, she twisted in the air, used Ember Celica to right herself and then propelled herself forwards for another volley of punches and kicks.

At close range, Nora was more vulnerable. She parried some of Yang’s blows but Yang got faster and more furious with every strike. Finally, Nora fell to the ground, hard and gracelessly. Yang immediately went for her hammer hand but Nora kicked her in the jaw, snapping her head back.

“So that’s the way you want to play it,” hissed Yang. 

She was yet to lose her temper and activate her semblance but she could feel the energy for it building. Truth be told, she didn’t want to use her semblance against Nora but she was growing frustrated. If using her semblance was the only way to win, then she’d have no choice. In the corner of her eye, she saw Blake watching with anxious eyes. 

Damn it all. This was ridiculous. 

Yang felt herself grow hot. It was time to finish this. She let out her final battle cry, a frustrated, almighty scream. Nora simply moved into a defensive stance, eyes set in concentration. 

But before either of them could move, another voice interjected.

“Nora? Nora, what are you doing?”

The voice was unmistakable. Lie Ren stood at the edge of the courtyard. When he saw the cracked pillars, his eyes widened. When he saw Yang in all her blazing fury, they grew wider still. His mouth stayed in a straight line but his voice contained the barest hint of worry.

“Do...do I want to know what this is about?”

“Ah..ahahaha,” said Nora. “Ummm…”

“She’s one of Blake’s evil exes,” said Yang. “And in order to date Blake I have to fight her.”

Ren turned to look at Nora with a mixture of confusion and horror. Nora blushed under his gaze, shifting from foot to foot. “I just wanted to be part of a club! Extracurricular activities look great on your school records.”

Ren sighed. “...I’m so confused I don’t know where to begin. Nora, if you want to date women, there must be a better way than...this.”

“What? No! I don’t want to date  _ women _ ! Don’t be silly, Ren!”

“But Yang just said-”

“We didn’t date, we just held hands once,” Blake added. 

“Oh,” said Ren. There was a brief silence.“Look, if you’re going to be a long time finishing up here, I won’t bother with pancakes for you, Nora. Sorry to interrupt.”

“Wait. Pancakes? 

“I left you a plate but if you’re busy I’m sure Jaune-”

Nora collapsed her hammer away in double quick time. Yang had never seen anyone move so fast.

“YangIsurrenderbye!”

“H-huh?” said Yang. Nora vanished in a blur, dragging a harried Ren with her. 

There was short silence. Yang gaped. Then Blake laughed. It was nice to hear but part of Yang was pretty sore about not getting to finish the battle. 

The non-victory was at least made sweeter by Blake’s hands on her shoulders and the gentle brush of her lips. 

“One down,” said Blake. 

“One down.”

Yang pulled her in for a deeper kiss. It was still strange how something she’d daydreamed about had become part of her everyday. There was no doubt in her mind - if she had to play some silly game to date Blake then that’s what she’d do. Blake was worth it.

Neither of them heard the rustle of the shrubbery. Neither of them saw the moonlight glinting off a pair of eyes watching them closely, gauging whether now was the best time to strike. 


	3. The Second Ex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the UK, you can drink at 18 and if you have fake ID/don’t get asked for ID can probably get away with it at 16 or 17. Let’s pretend the City of Vale is similar.

Yang thought long and hard about where to take Blake for their first official date. It had been difficult to pin her favourite cat woman down between classes and Ruby’s ‘fun team activities’ but she had got there in the end and was determined to make it a date to remember.

Yang had ‘procured’ tickets to get into the City of Vale’s prime music venue. Rock and roll was soothing to the soul. Or it at least soothed her soul. The venue was deep in the commercial district but Yang had no problem finding it. Blake clung grimly to her wrist as Yang marched them both through a riot of flashing colour. Pubs and bars were three deep on both sides of the street and they were surrounded by the rowdy noise of the drunk and verging on disorderly.

Someone wolf whistled and called out “Alright, darlin’?” Yang didn’t make eye contact but made a show of tossing her hair back. Blake however, hissed. Yang glanced back at her date. Blake’s body was rigid with tension. Had she been in possession of a tail, there was no doubt that it would have been swishing angrily.

“Just ignore it, we’re almost there,” said Yang. Cat calls were irritating but didn't bother her enough to make her consider dressing differently. In her eyes, the callers were just bitter that a woman like her would never look at them twice.

The queue for the venue was long but Yang headed straight to the VIP entrance. She grinned at the doorman, a large man with thinning hair. 

“Yang Xiao Long plus one. I’m on the guest list.”

The doorman grunted and made a show of checking his tattered clipboard. Yang fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly and to her satisfaction his cheeks turned pink. 

“You don’t look like any of Junior’s women,” he said, giving both Yang and then Blake a long glance. 

“We’re not. He owes me a favour,” said Yang, her smile disarmingly sweet. The doorman shrugged but waved them through.

Inside, the music was cranked up loud. Blake seemed quite taken with the flashing lights but didn’t let go of Yang’s hand as she guided them both towards the bar. They had to press themselves past the bodies of the other party goers. The whole place smelt like booze and sweat and the air was sticky but Yang liked it that way. It was all part of the atmosphere. 

Blake seemed calmer once there was a drink in her hand and Yang found somewhere they could see the stage without having to invade anyone else’s personal space. The little corner also gave Yang enough room to kiss Blake as much as she wanted, which was a nice bonus.

Unfortunately, they were interrupted by an all too familiar voice.

“Blake! Yang!” Sun Wukong was waving at them. He approached them, forcing his way through the crowd.

“So you finally got together, huh?” he asked once he was close enough for a conversation that could be heard below screaming level. He scratched his head. “That’s...that’s really great.”

“Sun…” Yang could tell that Blake felt awkward. Maybe because once upon a time she and Sun had been...something. But that was the past and Yang was Blake’s future. 

“Nice of you to say hello,” said Yang, which was true. If the shoe were on the other foot, she wouldn’t have bothered. Sun sighed and she almost felt bad for him. 

“Sorry, Yang. You seem nice and all but if you two really are dating then this isn’t just a hello…” Sun drew his weapon, still in its collapsed state. Yang stiffened. Perhaps she should have expected this, but was Sun really going along with this stupid evil ex thing too? Yang had thought him better than that.

“Sun...not you too…” said Blake, clearly thinking along the same lines. 

“Sorry, Blake. But the leader of the White Fang made me agree to do this. Usually I wouldn’t give a damn but he threatened my team.”

“You’re taking orders from Adam?”

“He said if I fought as one of your exes, he’d leave my team alone. I am sorry and junk. But I’m not going to go down without a fight.”

“Why does it have to be this way?” asked Blake, frustration colouring her voice. 

“Maybe it doesn’t,” said Yang. “Sun...I don’t think either of us want to ruin the party. So how about a different a kind of battle?”

XxX

“And theeen I was like...Scarlet, fetch me a...a...coco-coconut but he s-said that-”

“Do you surrender yet?” asked Yang. 

The two of them sat at the bar with Blake between them. She was acting as adjudicator and also as a disapproving elderly aunt of some kind. It was cute, in its own way. In front of them were two lines of empty glasses. The battle between Yang and Sun had proceeded in an orderly fashion: shot, beer, shot, beer and so on. At first they had been loud and boisterous but now the drink was weighing on them significantly and the battle was coming to a close.

“No surrender! Another!” said Sun slamming his fist down on the bar with a surprising amount of gusto. The barman held his hands up and got pouring. Yang downed the last of her beer and pushed her glass forward to be refilled. She belched.

“You’re both disgusting,” said Blake. “This was a terrible idea.”

“Aww, you don’t mean that,” said Yang. Even she had to admit that the kiss she then gave Blake was probably unnecessarily sloppy and beer-y. Blake wriggled away and Yang realised her disgust wasn’t an act. A moment of panic managed to find its way through her alcohol addled state to her brain and sober her up slightly. It occurred to her that as first dates went, this probably hadn’t been...ideal. 

“You two are so cute I think I’m going to throw up,” said Sun as the barman poured them both another shot of whisky.

“Are you?” Yang said, sounding far too hopeful at the prospect.

“Of course not!” he said, picking up the shot. “Count us down Blake!”

Blake sighed. “Five...four...three...two...one…” She delivered the count in an unimpressed monotone. Yang and Sun gulped the shots, still neck and neck. 

The band had reached a slow song in the set and couples were beginning to take the dance floor together. Yang glanced at Blake. She was looking forlornly at Sun, a look that made Yang’s insides burn. Did she still have feelings for him? Ever since Sun had joined them, she’d been so quiet...

“You two go dance. I’ll be here,” said Sun. 

“That...doesn’t seem like the best idea…” said Blake but Yang was already dragging her on to the dancefloor. 

Even a two step dance was too much for Yang. She was so unsteady on her feet that Blake was basically holding her up. The two of them swayed, not even remotely to the rhythm to the music.

“I wish you hadn’t started this,” said Blake. “You’re both going to wake up with the worst hangovers of your life.”

“It was either this or hit him reaaallly hard,” said Yang. “And I didn’t fink you’d want me too. You still like Sun! Don’t you? I saw the way you looked...when he found us.”

“I…” Blake looked torn. But she hadn’t denied it. Yang’s mood rapidly spiralled downwards. Really? Did Blake wish she was still dating him? The fallout from their brief fling had been hard - did Blake regret her decision? If that was the case, why had she said yes to going out with Yang?

An awful possibility rose in Yang’s mind. Usually she’d keep it to herself but the alcohol oiled her tongue and-

“Am I just an experiment to you?” Yang blurted out. “Cause if you still wannabe with Sun then hey, I’m not gonna-”

“Why would you say that?” demanded Blake. “What, you think my heart’s not in this?”

She came to an abrupt halt and peeled Yang’s hands from her shoulders.

“I dunno!” said Yang. “That’s why I’m like, asking. Jeez!”

“I feel bad about what happened with Sun. He deserves better. But breaking up was a mutual decision. He figured out pretty quickly that I was putting someone else before him. Like when I turned down dinner to help you cram for that history test. And when I blew out on meeting his team because you started some feud with an upperclassman and needed backup. And that time we were supposed to go the cinema but you and Ruby wanted to see the same film so I brought you all with me.”

Yang blinked. There were two Blakes. Neat. Two was better than one. And she was pretty sure that one or both of them were trying to tell her something important. But the music and the noise and the spinning motion the room was making made it all too much to process.

“Let’s get Sun and get out of here,” snapped Blake.

When they returned to the bar, Sun was face down in front of his glass. Yang grinned - this meant she’d won the battle! The barman glared at her and held his hand out for the money he was owed. Yang threw a few notes at him without counting. Then, together with Blake, she pulled a catatonic Sun to his feet and left the club behind.

Their departure did not go unwitnessed. Another faunus slipped out of the bar. Her curled ponytail gave her a distinctive shadow and she stood and watched the three of them staggering away, Blake and Yang trying their best to hold Sun upright. She pulled out her scroll and tapped a quick message:

_Brother Adam,_

_The second ex has fallen._

_What are your orders?_


	4. The Third Ex

Yang had never wished for her own death before but the headache that greeted her when she woke up made her wonder if death would be less painful. Blake had left her scroll, room keys and wallet on her pillow with a bottle of water, some headache pills and a note that said ‘Gone to class. Also, Neptune wants to kill you.’

Yang sighed and reached for her scroll.

_Yang: Is Neptune another evil ex?_

The reply came back almost instantaneously.

_Blake: No. He was mad about Sun._

_Yang: How many more exes?_

_Blake: Should be 2. Both members of WF. V dangerous. Still want to fight?_

_Yang: Still want me to?_

_Blake: I do._

“Ugh,” said Yang, taking the painkillers Blake had left. She dimly recalled throwing up. No wonder Blake wasn’t too impressed. Did Uncle Qrow always feel like this or was he somehow immune to the alcohol? Yang was pretty sure she’d seen him fight while drunk before. Whereas she had barely been able to dance. Maybe when she was a full fledged huntress she’d get access to super liquor holding powers…

This thought coloured her dreams as she slipped back into an uneasy sleep.

XxX

Yang was still in her team mate’s bad books. Ruby had given her an impassioned speech about not ending up like Uncle Qrow or, er, maybe ending up like him because he was pretty cool but preferably without his drinking problem. Weiss was categorically not speaking to her because her beauty sleep had been disturbed. Blake was talking to Yang and had even tried explaining the evil exes to Ruby and Weiss but they hadn’t been convinced.

“That just sounds like a prank and a silly excuse for you both to go out drinking with Sun,” said Weiss. 

“Are you just mad I didn’t invite you?” asked Yang. “It was supposed to be a date!”

“Still not talking to you for at least another two days,” said Weiss, turning back to her deadly dull homework. She was the most insufferable nerd Yang had ever met.

“Weiss! We could go out dancing too!” said Ruby.

“You’re too young and dancing is boring anyway,” said Weiss. 

A mischievous look crossed Ruby’s face. “I guess I’ll just go all by myself then…”

“That’s dangerous!” said Weiss. “Fine, I’ll come with you. But only to make sure you behave appropriately! It’s not like I really want to go!”

Yang hid a smirk. She was glad to see Ruby finally making an effort at thinking tactically. She considered pointing out that Weiss had been played like a fiddle before she remembered Weiss was still not talking to her. 

Blake sighed, apparently giving up on trying to persuade Weiss and Ruby that her story was true. “Look, if you see a bull faunus dressed in red and black can you call me please?” said Blake. “And do _not_ try and fight him.”

XxX

It was Blake’s turn to choose a date. They were at a quaint bookshop with a tea room attached, the Blake-st venue possible. The interior was sparsely lit and Blake was making a point of flipping through the fattest, dustiest volumes. If Yang was honest, the smell was making her nose itch. Reading was something she just couldn’t get interested in - unless it was comics. 

“What are we looking for?”

“Fairytales,” said Blake. 

“Kids’ stories?” Yang asked sceptically.

“No,” said Blake. “The Little Mermaid chooses death at the end of her story. And she’s not the only one.”

“Eesh,” said Yang. “Faunus stuff is always so dark...”

“So is human stuff,” said Blake. “Poisoned apples and reanimated corpses are just the tip of the iceberg.”

“You’re really into the creepy stuff, huh?”

In the end, Yang hung out in the comic zone, surreptitiously reading the latest issues of her favourites. When she was done, she went back to see how Blake was doing. Her partner produced three slim volumes with a contented smile.

Blake paid for her three fairytale books and then they left the shop. They stepped out into a chilly wind. The shop was one of the lesser known ones in an area of Vale that wasn’t frequented by regular visitors. The quiet was eerie, especially considering how vivid and lively most other parts of Vale were. Yang decided now was as good a time as any to ask her burning question. It would also fill the ominous silence. 

“So, this bull faunus…” Yang began. “Are we going to talk about him?”

“There’s not much to say,” Blake sighed. “You already know most of it. Adam was my partner while I was in the White Fang. He was going too far, using violence and even murder to get his way. So I left and joined Beacon Academy.”

There was a short silence as Yang mulled over this information. 

That was why she heard it: the crunch of a foot against a discarded tin can and a whispered curse. Blake froze, eyes wide as she scanned the darkness for the source of the noise. 

The street lighting was patchy and cast deep shadows. Yang, _click-click_ , primed her gauntlets.

“Who’s there?” Yang called, readying her fists. Blake tilted her head, as if she’d spotted something, and then put a hand out to lower Yang’s waiting fists. Yang frowned. If this was another ex, why should she hold back? Even if they weren’t an ex, sneaking around and eavesdropping was creepy as all heck. 

“Il- Ilia!” Blake called out. “It is you, isn’t it? Ilia?”

Yang’s eyes widened as a female figure melted out of the shadows. A girl...a girl whose skin was fading from black to a more healthy peach colour. She was wearing a White Fang mask and her mouth was set in a grim line. So she was a faunus with a camouflage ability? That was interesting. The girl had a truly magnificent glare on her as well. She spoke in a dull monotone, not acknowledging Blake’s question. 

“Adam wants you to meet him on the Beacon Cliffs. Otherwise he’ll release Grimm into the school.”

“We’ll see about that,” said Yang, pulling herself free from Blake’s grip.

“Adam doesn’t like being taken for a fool,” said Ilia. “We trusted you, Blake. And you just threw us away like we were nothing.”

“I had no choice,” said Blake. “I couldn’t stand by and watch him hurt people.”

“If you believed what he was doing was wrong, you could have stayed and stood up to him. We could have done it together. You left me. Like I was nothing.”

“I didn’t know what else Adam would do to me. I knew you could look after yourself.”

“You’re nothing but a coward. I don’t know why I ever looked up to you. I don’t want to hurt you but-” Ilia turned to Yang. “I have to fight her.”

Yang was already ready. Ilia drew her weapon in a flash, a sword that lashed out into a whip shape. Yang charged forward but Ilia danced around the blow, pushing Blake into Yang’s path instead. Blake stumbled downwards and Yang swerved around her. When she looked for Ilia to deliver a counter blow, she realised she could no longer see her. Presumably the faunus had melted back into the darkness. 

“Ilia, please,” said Blake. “If you ever cared for me then-”

Something hit Yang from behind, a bolt of gold in the dark. Yang howled in protest and dashed forward, hoping to uncover her assailant.

“Yang!” Blake jumped forwards to protect Yang’s back and fell against another strike of Ilia’s whip. Yang growled and launched a volley of fireballs. The flames lit the shadows and she glimpsed Ilia’s shape, stock still in the darkness. Without a second thought, she ran at the faunus. Ilia struck out with her whip again, hoping to knock Yang down once and for all.

Big mistake.

Yang ducked the blow and flashed a wink at Ilia’s astonished face. She seized hold of the golden whip in her outstretched fist, clutching it tightly. It burned against her fingers but the pain was a perfect way to fuel her semblance. With a cry, she felt herself blaze. She grasped the whip with her other hand too, dragging Ilia forwards along the ground. The faunus tugged hard, trying to regain both her footing and control of her weapon. With one last pull, Yang launched Ilia up in the air and swung her in an arc. The faunus was finally forced to relinquish her grip on the whip. Ilia let out a sharp scream and landed hard against one of the old brick buildings lining the street.

When Ilia hit the ground, her aura crackled brightly before shattering. Yang advanced, ready to strike another blow. The faunus’s maskless,terrified face didn’t touch her. She was sick of having to fight just to be with the person she loved. Besides, this woman was with the White Fang, who were nothing but a group of terrorists and villains.

“Stop!” said Blake, putting herself between Yang and Ilia. “Yang, calm down.”

“She was the one who attacked us!” said Yang. 

“I know but...but I did leave her. I was the one who hurt her first, so please stop.”

Yang huffed and lowered her fists. She wasn’t such a monster that she’d dishonour Blake’s wishes. The building she’d hit with Ilia was now a little crumbled and the girl’s weapon lay bent and broken on the ground behind her. Ilia made no move to attack. Blake was right. It was time to stop.

“Ilia…” said Blake, turning to look at her.

“I just wanted...to be noticed,” said Ilia. “Just once.”

“Ilia. I’m sorry. I honestly am. But we have to stop Adam,” said Blake. 

“You...don’t need me to do that,” said Ilia, looking at Yang. 

Yang nodded. She was tired from fighting Ilia but after Adam they’d be home and dry. All of Blake’s evil exes would be down. Blake gazed at Yang, yellow eyes bright. They were so pretty and when Yang looked at them, they made her heart jump. 

“Yang. I’m sorry,” said Blake, lowering her gaze. Just as Yang was about to tell Blake everything was fine, Blake’s fist was flying towards her face. Yang was vaguely aware of her legs collapsing beneath her. And then, nothing.


	5. The Fourth Ex

“Yang? Yang Xiao Long, can you hear me?”

Yang managed to creak out a ‘yes.’ Her temple throbbed. Someone had got a good hit in on her. It had been a while since that happened. When it came to throwing punches, Yang was usually the one to hit first.

Dimly, she remembered Blake’s face as she’d thrown the damning punch. The usually stoic faunus had gone through a spectrum of expressions - scared, worried, angry, determined - all before Yang had even hit the ground. And now she was going after Adam, the last and scariest ex, all alone. Blake hadn’t told her much about Adam but her fear said enough on its own. If Blake Belladonna, who didn’t bat an eyelid at towering Beowolves or screeching Nevermores, was scared then it wasn’t something to take lightly.

Yang opened her eyes and looked into the face of a young policeman. He looked like he should have still been attending Beacon with Yang. In his left hand, he held Yang’s student ID, which he’d presumably found in her wallet.

“A member of the public reported a brawl with White Fang terrorists,” said the officer. “Is that right?”

“That’s right,” said Yang. She slowly sat up and tried to think. There wasn’t time to waste chatting with a cop, no matter how friendly he seemed. Ilia had said that Adam was waiting on the Beacon Cliffs. How long had Yang been unconscious? Was she too late?

Yang looked around. There was no sign of Ilia. Her mask, which had been lying on the ground, was gone too.

“I feel OK,” Yang lied. She stood, trying not to wobble.

“Whoa,” said the policeman. “You might have a concussion. Is there anyone I can call?”

Yang looked around. On the side of the road, she could see a cop car. It was parked on the kerb with its hazards on. She looked back to the police officer and did a quick mental calculation. If she travelled by police car, she could be back at Beacon Academy in a matter of minutes.

“Can you give me a ride to Beacon Academy?” asked Yang. As she had everything to play for, she went into full blown, seductive mode, sparing no effort. There was hair tossing, eyelash fluttering and copious pouting. It probably would have been more effective if she hadn’t suddenly got dizzy and stumbled like a drunk.

Still, the cop agreed to her suggestion. Perhaps he was used to running home students who got into fights...

XxX

Blake had left a message on Yang’s scroll.

_I’m sorry. Called the police to pick you up. I’m sorry. Please believe I’m sorry._

Yang rang Blake but it went straight to voicemail. She left three messages, all variations on _I love you, you’re an idiot, I would fight anyone for you._

Yang still wasn’t sure how long she’d been unconscious for but Blake had messaged her seventeen minutes ago. She might still have time to intervene, or at least do something to help Blake.

As soon as the car stopped, Yang garbled out a thanks to the confused cop and then took off for the cliffs. She couldn’t take a chopper like they had for initiation so she ran through Beacon’s grounds on foot. She hadn’t taken many hits from Ilia but her palms were still sore from grabbing the whip and her head ached from Blake’s punch. Still, not once did she consider calling anyone else for help. This was Blake’s last ex and Yang’s last fight and nothing was going to take it away from her. There would be no easy way to win - no distractions, no alcohol and no tricks - but Yang didn’t care. She’d been saving herself for this, the most important fight of all.

Not just because Adam was the one who started this stupid ex thing in the first place but because Yang wanted Blake to feel safe. It would be better if she didn’t have to constantly look over her shoulder, wondering if today was the day that Adam caught up with her. That was no way to live.

A Grimm howl sounded in the distance. The Emerald Forest lay in front of the cliffs, somehow more ominous in the dark. Yang ran alongside it, trying to ignore the night time sounds that rustled beside her. Before long she could hear the clash of steel on steel and knew that she was close.

“Blake!”

The scattered light from the fragmented moon provided all that she needed to see by. The two were fighting just in front of the cliff’s edge. Blake’s eyes glowed yellow in the dark. She called out a warning but her words were lost in the wind. The masked man she was fighting had his back to Yang. So this was Adam. Yang charged.

Adam was quick, she’d give him that. He whipped out of her range, ready to slice her in a follow up attack she couldn’t avoid. But then his hand faltered. Blake had shot at him, providing the opening Yang needed to dodge the blow. His sword whistled down on where she’d been standing. The blow would have run her through.

_He’s dangerous_ , Yang reminded herself. _A terrorist._

“Pathetic!” sneered Adam. “You can do better than this little girl, my love.”

Yang was five foot eight and every inch of her bristled with fury at being called both ‘little’ and a ‘girl’. She was a woman. A huntress. And more than a match for Blake, thank you very much.

“I disagree,” said Blake. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“Because every night, Blake, all I can see is your face as you left me! You drove me to this!”

Yang attacked him again but he tossed her aside by hand, not even bothering to use his sword this time. He went for Blake again. He was stronger than her but she was quicker. His sword met one of her clones and she used the space to strike him from a different direction. Adam shrugged the blow off like it was nothing. It didn’t even dent his aura enough to rustle his clothing. He reached for Blake again but Yang barrelled into him from the side. She knocked him to the ground but he managed to get his sword up before she could land a blow on his face or torso.

“I see my warning has flown right over your head, little girl,” he said, hissing through his teeth. “You’ve seen all the ones she left behind. Do you really think you’re special? That she’ll stay for you?”

Yang felt her semblance kick in and she roared. Her body burned with an anger so intense that she felt like it was charring her insides. She kicked at Adam, trying to make him drop the sword. Adam rolled away. Yang hit out blindly but he grabbed at her wrist and pulled her down. The two of them tumbled in the dirt. This time Adam dropped the sword. But he was in her face, on top of her, his breath against her neck. It made Yang feel sick and she pushed at him with all her strength. As she slammed her fists into him, he at last let out a groan that meant she’d got through his aura.

Then Blake struck from behind, the sharp kick knocking Adam off Yang so that she could breathe properly again. Blake offered a hand and slowly pulled Yang to her feet. Yang smiled, the flames insider her at last beginning to calm.

Then Adam rose up behind Blake, once again holding his sword. The blade glowed red. Yang tried to push Blake aside but she was too late. Adam had grabbed her. He held the blade to her throat. Blake quivered and Yang felt hatred surge up, burning at her.

“Move even an inch and she’s dead,” growled Adam.

“Don’t do this,” pleaded Blake.

“Shut up!” said Adam. “Why would you betray me for them? For the humans that hate us?”

“She betrayed you because you’re a jerk,” said Yang. It wasn’t her snappiest comeback but she was breathing hard and there was a sword at her girlfriend’s throat and there was nothing she could do and oh fuck, there was a sword at her girlfriend’s throat.

“What the hell do you want from me?” said Yang. “Was this really all just to prove a point?”

“I want what’s mine!” said Adam. “And if I can’t have it, then neither can anyone else!”

As if in slow motion, Yang saw his hand clench down on the grip of his sword. Her mind raced as she tried to think of some way to save them both from this lunatic but then-

“Ahem. My apologies for interrupting.”

The throat clearing took them all by surprise. Adam started, jolting just enough for Blake to free herself from his grip. She stomped down on Adam’s foot, hard, and Yang winced at what sounded like bones crunching. Then in a blink, she was at Yang’s side. Yang threw her arms around Blake, ashamed to feel tears pricking at her eyes.

Professor Ozpin stood before them, the moonlight reflecting off his glasses. Adam had been knocked down onto one knee and was trying and failing to stand on two feet.

“Terrorists are not welcome in my school. I’ve got a nice young policeman waiting to make an arrest. Are you going to come quietly, Adam Taurus?”

Adam cursed. He took up a defensive stance, or tried to. It was the first time Yang had seen him do so. Ozpin leaned forward on his cane, eying him.

“Your sham of a school won’t be standing for much longer,” Adam spat. But the threat seemed empty in the face of the professor’s nonchalance.

“Is that so?”

Something glittered in the professor’s eyes. Something deep and dark that made Yang shudder. For a moment, she wondered if it was trick of the light. But Adam must have seen it too, because he turned and fled. His dark figure arced through the air as he leapt from the edge of the cliff and into the Emerald Forest below.

Yang moved to pursue him but Blake held her back. “Let him go. He’s a coward,” she said. “He can’t accept me leaving him. He can’t accept what the White Fang have become. And most of all, he can’t accept losing.”

Yang looked down into the forest and remembered the creatures that lurked there. She had no doubt that Adam was in for a hard time - Nevermores, Deathstalkers, Beowolves and more all awaited him. Plus, he only had one good foot.

Professor Ozpin sighed a heavy sigh. “I do hope that young man has a landing strategy,” he said. “I best inform the police.”

“They won’t catch him,” said Blake. She regarded the professor with wary eyes. He smiled at her in return. It was curiously genuine, as if he was pleased that he’d discovered two of his students fighting a terrorist on the cliffs in the middle of the night. Was he going to give them a telling off or a gold star? Yang couldn’t tell.

“You two have a lot of explaining to do,” said Professor Ozpin. “But first, we should get you to the nurse’s office.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go! Ozpin ex machina! 
> 
> (Oops)


	6. Epilogue

The morning after the fight with Adam, Yang woke to the ceiling of RWBY’s dorm room. She considered maybe getting up. The smell of breakfast bacon drifted in through the open window. It reminded her of home on Patch and her dad’s legendary skill with a frying pan. It also reminded her that she was ravenously hungry. 

She twitched her leg...and let out a full bodied groan. Her legs ached something rotten and her shoulders were stiff. Beating down Adam had been the hardest she’d ever fought. 

Yang shuddered when she thought of how close both she and Blake had come to death. That terrible moment when Adam had held his sword to Blake’s throat haunted her still. If Adam came back, she was going to make sure he didn’t get away. The motion jarred her sore muscles and she let out another groan.

“Alright, alright,” said Blake from the bunk below. “I’ll go get you a breakfast fit for a heroine.”

Yang tipped herself over so she could look down over the edge of her bunk. Blake was looking up at her, unblinking. Even though she wasn’t smiling, her body language was much more relaxed than before. 

“Aww, thanks kitty.” 

Blake’s eyes narrowed but her lips quirked up in a playful smile.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Extra bacon please!”

Blake sighed but she couldn’t quite hide her smile. 

Ruby and Weiss weren’t in their bunks. They were both morning people so Yang’s guess was that they were already sitting in the food hall exchanging gossip with Team JNPR. Weiss would be trying to keep anything that resembled a crumb well away from her...and Ruby would be merrily crunching toast without a second thought for Weiss’s carefully bleached clothes. Usually their Sunday morning squabbling woke Yang. She must have been absolutely dead to the world and slept right through it. 

Blake returned quicker than Yang expected. She had procured a tray which was positively stacked with food. Piles of bacon, a mountain of buttery toast, fried eggs...Yang felt her mouth water. To top it off, two foam cups of hot chocolate were balanced beside everything else.

Blake passed the tray up to Yang and then climbed up to the top bunk herself. She pilfered one of the hot chocolates. 

“...Um. Blake. You don’t happen to have any cutlery, do you?”

“Oh. Damn. I knew I’d forgotten something.”

“Never mind, we can use our hands. I won’t tell Weiss if you don’t.”

Yang moved over and patted the spot next to her. Blake put her head on one side before shifting herself into it. The two of them and the tray made it quite a squash in the small bunk but it was the happiest Yang had been for a long time. The contents of the tray dwindled rapidly. Yang dropped it to the floor where it thunked and then put her arm around Blake’s shoulders.

“I can’t believe I finally get to do something like this without an evil ex barging in. It feels good.”

“Thanks again Yang. I feel much safer with you around. I can’t believe how hard you fought for me. It’s more than I deserve.”

Blake kissed her softly on the cheek. Yang felt herself melting. This moment made all the fighting worth it. She'd do it all again without a second thought, just as long as she got this breakfast with Blake. She leaned in for another kiss, this one more passionate.

Just as they were enjoying a moment of peace together, someone rapped at the door. Yang growled. “Go away!” she yelled. “We’re busy!” Seriously, who was rude enough to go about making a racket on a Sunday morning?

The rapping paused long enough for Yang to roll her eyes and continue kissing Blake. 

But a few short moments later, the door flew off its hinges. A huntsman stood in the doorway, wielding a flaming lasso. Blake screamed and Yang frantically searched for wherever she’d stashed Ember Celica. In just her pyjamas, she was completely defenseless.

“Blake Belladonna,” said the huntsman, pushing his dark shades up his beaky nose. “Are you ready to duel?”

Yang squinted through the dust that had risen at the fall of the door. She recognised something about the figure before them. 

The memory coalesced slowly. The bright lights of Yang’s first disco at Signal. Yang had been cold; it had been in the midst of winter and she hadn’t worn tights. She could hear her old friends laughing. A boy had shyly asked her to dance. And then...stiff clammy lips on hers while the music pounded in her ears.

“Mickey? Mickey Maroon?”

“You have got to be kidding me,” said Blake. 

“I’ve had my share of exes.” Yang laughed, scratching her head sheepishly. “Guess they’re not just going to leave me alone.”

"Indeed. I am the first of your exes, Yang," said Mickey. "I hope Ms Belladonna is ready."

“Fine,” said Blake, rolling her eyes. “Then it’s my turn to show how much I want to be with you, Yang.”

She gracefully leapt down from the bed and snatched Gambol Shroud. In moments, she was poised to fight. Her stance was steady as she awaited her challenger’s first attack, one foot slightly behind the other. 

Yang couldn’t help the smug smirk that spread itself across her face. 

She was quite certain that Blake had never looked more beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it ends.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed the story. I haven't written anything silly as this in a while and really enjoyed it :-)


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